Getting there: letting go

If I could learn the grace of how to love and let go, wouldn’t that be something? For doing both simultaneously is the crack in the sky that could free me from my fears. I love many things and people, but there are a small number of beings that when I think of living without them, I utterly shatter. Of course, those are the ones that I’m most likely and recent to probably lose; although, you just never can tell when anyone in your life could suddenly disappear from your human landscape. It’s such a gift to love something so much, and as we all know, the price is heavy. But, maybe it doesn’t have to be. What can I do to palliate my fear of losing so deeply? Well, for one, all I can really do is soak in every moment, to drink every last drop of that sweet Nectar of the Gods I call love, drink in the present with them here, absorb the moments and upload them to the eternal cloud. Because as trite as it sounds, nothing that ever existed can every truly be gone. The space-time stamp in the electromagnetic pulse of existence can’t ever be taken away, and certainly, as long as I’m in this body I will keep them with me in my thoughts and memories. And when I switch over, it’s all saved in the cloud anyway. Maybe one way to soothe myself is to do the same in my love for myself. To really love myself in a way I never have before. To honor the fact that as long as I’m alive, I’ll always have myself and that’s worth loving and cherishing. If I loved myself like I love my dog…shit, if I just talked to myself the way I talk to my dog, then maybe I could really let go of all the unnecessary bullshit I accidentally carry around. If I not only was free to root for myself, but also to really know that I am worthy of everything I am rooting for, then I could allow the clarity to come.